Bad-mouthing myself.

I am nothing much more than a useless piece of shit. My existance increases the amount of rubbish in the world. I make no contribution nor gain a single sand for the family. Troubling everyone to take care of me and to search for me high and low. Delaying everyone's time to effin' wait for me when they needn't even wait. Wasted. They've been wasting too much on me, in which is not at all worthy. Raising me up brings no benefit to my parents and they could have just ditch me away. Just like a parasite, I've corroded everything which were supposed to be beautiful and nice. How nice of me. Shit. I am asking for pamper when i am the one receiving all the pampering. Everyone's coddling were treated as if they were a matter of course. I am just way too rapacious. I never considered others' feeling when i'm complaining that others never cared about my feeling. In Matthew 7:3, it says: "Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own? I've spent too much time on stuffs which is useless and worthless. I am such a.. Such a.. I find no word to describe me. I've always asked others to be thankful and to appreciate what they have around them. And somehow I think I am just a fcuking hypocrite. I blabs a lot about so and so which were NEVER practiced by myself. Isn't it so? I'm worser than the worst. Having a daughter like me surely brings my parents' life bliss and sorrow. Do I still own a chance to turn over a new leaf? Chances were always given, and i've always been trashing them. By now, even I myself couldn't truly understand myself. I do not know what am I thinking, I do not know what do I want, I do not know what do I desire, I do not know what would I do. What I did is tinier than a compound of oxygen comparing to what they have done for me. How evilish could I be the next moment? How fake could I be the next second? Still, it's a fact of unknown. It's a good thing that my handphone's expired. Thus, I wouldn't have a chance to bother anyone else. I have been really inconsiderate, spilling all my bitter-water to someone whose going to have an important exam soon. Be considerate, i've always wished that everyone around me could be considerate and think from my perspective. Yet, I've always disobeyed the rule of considerate when i'm not feeling well, and totally abolished them when I am moody. Sincerely, i thank everyone who were there for me. I've browsed through some memories which were deeply sealed in my heart and realized that a sincere true friend is really kind of impossible to find. But as a useless and worthless daughter, a pathetic and inconsiderate friend, I ought to keep my fcuking mouth shut. There's nothing which could be helped by shedding some tears or even more crying some lungs out. They make no use. Time were left idle or used up on things which bring no benefit to the family. This should first be changed. I'm good. I hope I did not lie.